Counseling Services for Gymnasts, Retired Gymnasts, Parents, and Coaches
The crisis in ethics
If you're a member of the gymnastics community, you've probably been reflecting on the crisis in ethics that has been going on in our sport for some time. Hundreds of brave gymnasts have spoken out about the abusive training environments in which they grew up, exposing a systemic problem in the sport. Their stories have also revealed the short and long-term mental, emotional, and physical damage done in a win-at-all-costs culture.
If you've been in the sport for a while, you may have been impacted yourself by toxic training conditions of fear and intimidation. Perhaps you've endured negative coaching methods and abuses of power, and you struggle with feelings that you are never good enough. Perhaps you've come to believe that your value as a person is based on your performance alone and your coach's opinion of you. You may feel like you've had little control over your life and that you've not been allowed to make your own decisions. You're ready for a more empowered future.
If you're relatively new to the sport, you're likely concerned about the longstanding culture of abuse you are hearing about in interviews, books, investigative reports, and documentaries — a culture still hailed by so many as the effective way to create champions. Perhaps you are not sure how to interpret or navigate what's going on in your gym or what role you should play. You want to keep things positive for your kids, and you're motivated to become a change-maker, but you don't know where to begin.
If you're a member of the gymnastics community, you've probably been reflecting on the crisis in ethics that has been going on in our sport for some time. Hundreds of brave gymnasts have spoken out about the abusive training environments in which they grew up, exposing a systemic problem in the sport. Their stories have also revealed the short and long-term mental, emotional, and physical damage done in a win-at-all-costs culture.
If you've been in the sport for a while, you may have been impacted yourself by toxic training conditions of fear and intimidation. Perhaps you've endured negative coaching methods and abuses of power, and you struggle with feelings that you are never good enough. Perhaps you've come to believe that your value as a person is based on your performance alone and your coach's opinion of you. You may feel like you've had little control over your life and that you've not been allowed to make your own decisions. You're ready for a more empowered future.
If you're relatively new to the sport, you're likely concerned about the longstanding culture of abuse you are hearing about in interviews, books, investigative reports, and documentaries — a culture still hailed by so many as the effective way to create champions. Perhaps you are not sure how to interpret or navigate what's going on in your gym or what role you should play. You want to keep things positive for your kids, and you're motivated to become a change-maker, but you don't know where to begin.
As a former gymnast and philosophical counselor, I can help.
I know the ethical crisis in gymnastics first hand, as an athlete who struggled through it, a coach who witnessed it, and a retired gymnast who had to learn how to heal from it. I also know the crisis through a philosophical lens, as an ethics specialist who has studied different value systems, power structures, and their effects.
Working through the crisis in ethics and figuring out how to overcome it all starts with individuals willing to ask questions, examine assumptions, deliberate, make personal commitments, and take action.
In philosophical counseling, I can help you:
Through philosophical counseling, you can have a more thoughtful, intentional, and empowered experience in sports with athlete health, growth, and personhood in mind. And if you are transitioning beyond the sport, you can work through the difficulties you've endured and the wisdom you have gained to develop a new purposeful path.
I know the ethical crisis in gymnastics first hand, as an athlete who struggled through it, a coach who witnessed it, and a retired gymnast who had to learn how to heal from it. I also know the crisis through a philosophical lens, as an ethics specialist who has studied different value systems, power structures, and their effects.
Working through the crisis in ethics and figuring out how to overcome it all starts with individuals willing to ask questions, examine assumptions, deliberate, make personal commitments, and take action.
In philosophical counseling, I can help you:
- examine priorities and consider what really matters in sports
- discuss what life as a thriving athlete and a flourishing human being looks like
- consider which sacrifices are worth making and which are not
- learn to distinguish between tough coaching and abusive coaching
- make an explicit list of ethical commitments (a personal "code") and a plan to begin carrying them out.
Through philosophical counseling, you can have a more thoughtful, intentional, and empowered experience in sports with athlete health, growth, and personhood in mind. And if you are transitioning beyond the sport, you can work through the difficulties you've endured and the wisdom you have gained to develop a new purposeful path.
Meet Your Counselor
Monica Vilhauer, Ph.D.
Hi, I'm Monica Vilhauer, Ph.D. and I have been studying and teaching philosophy for over 20 years. I'm a specialist in ethics and a certified philosophical counselor.
As a philosophical counselor, I help clients examine meaning and purpose in their lives, clarify core beliefs and values, deal with ethical dilemmas, and build a more empowering and self-directed life that is truly their own.
I'm also a former club and NCAA Division I gymnast. My own varied experience in gymnastics led directly to my desire to study philosophy and concentrate on ethics. My study of ethics finally gave me the chance to think deeply about what human dignity, health, and flourishing look like. It also helped me to better understand the dynamics in which the abuse of power occurs, so that I could learn to resist it and make creative change.
My goal is to offer the opportunity for critical and creative thinking about ethics in gymnastics that I wish someone would have initiated throughout my years in the sport. My hope is that we are in a new era in which these conversations are no longer taboo, but recognized as necessary.
As a philosophical counselor, I help clients examine meaning and purpose in their lives, clarify core beliefs and values, deal with ethical dilemmas, and build a more empowering and self-directed life that is truly their own.
I'm also a former club and NCAA Division I gymnast. My own varied experience in gymnastics led directly to my desire to study philosophy and concentrate on ethics. My study of ethics finally gave me the chance to think deeply about what human dignity, health, and flourishing look like. It also helped me to better understand the dynamics in which the abuse of power occurs, so that I could learn to resist it and make creative change.
My goal is to offer the opportunity for critical and creative thinking about ethics in gymnastics that I wish someone would have initiated throughout my years in the sport. My hope is that we are in a new era in which these conversations are no longer taboo, but recognized as necessary.
Ready to ask the big questions?
Counseling for Gymnasts |
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Hello gymnasts! You're committed to your sport. It takes up a lot of your time. In fact, you haven't thought about much else for a while. Maybe things are getting pretty intense and demanding. Maybe you're not sure whether the "fun" part is there anymore. Maybe you're not feeling comfortable with some things the coach says and does, but you don't know what to do about it. Or maybe you've changed gyms and the culture at your new gym is much better, but you're struggling to shake off past experiences. Let's talk and work through the following questions:
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Counseling for Retired Gymnasts
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Hi there, retired gymnasts! I'm betting you were in the sport for a really long time and have the scars to show for it. Maybe you're kind of sad to be done. Maybe you're kind of relieved and need to recover from the whole thing. Maybe you're not sure what to do tomorrow if not go to the gym. Maybe you're not sure who you are anymore. Welcome to your identity crisis! It's gonna be okay, you're not alone. There is life after gymnastics. Let's talk and work through the following questions:
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Counseling for Parents of Gymnasts |
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Hello parents! So your kid caught the gymnastics bug, did they? They're begging to spend more time in the gym. You've got a beam in the middle of your living room. Maybe your kid is pretty good. Perhaps the coach recommended they get into a fast-track program. You want to give them every opportunity to be their best. Surely turning them over to the "experts" is the best way to help them achieve their dreams, right? But there are some sketchy things in the news about gymnastics, and you're wondering about some red-flag issues in the gym. Should you be worried? Let's talk and work through the following questions:
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Counseling for Gymnastics Coaches
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Coaches, you've returned to the sport of your childhood! Or maybe you never left. You know this stuff — the skills, the training techniques, the motivation. Well, at least you know how your coaches handled all that stuff with you. Did it always have the best effect on you? On your teammates? Are there some traditions you'd like to carry on and some things you'd like to revise? Parents are starting to ask that you articulate your coaching philosophy, but you're not quite sure. Let's talk and work through the following questions:
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Philosophical Counseling with Monica Vilhauer in the news:
Oprah Magazine
VICE
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